yUMMMMMMMM. one of the reasons WE LUV SAN FRANCISCO: FRIED POTATOES at CHACHACHA =9 =9 =9 

i'm not even drunk yet. i grabbed a chip to put in my mouth and i got that dinky lil thing that looks like a toothpick. 

L and P looking lovely as always. 

argh. why do i always do stupid shit like this? currently, i am waiting for a scanned version of the questionnaire i left at home, which i will need tomorrow for my interview, which i'll be waking up for in 6 hours. O_o

i guess while i'm here.... THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! to all u guys who gave me SUuUUuuper advice on my interview and helped me practice umpteen trillion times. yu helped me to organize my many scattered thoughts and even gain insight on my life. :) gracias!

mmHM. u kno i never thought i'd miss LA, but now that i'm back...... wow. wut a totally different universe. i LUV norcal and all of it's chillness, but i think i'm craving the LA life all over again (even if the guys up north are much hotter). or mebbe i jus need to be back on my own and in a city full of people my own age with palpable ambitions and energy.

san francisco here i come! :D

email's here. whew. sleep time. big day tomorrow. nervous as fuck. O____________o hwaiteeng!

Quiero bailar, quiero sentirme hermosa
quiero cantar, ver el amanecer
quiero sentir sólo tu dulce boca
y bailar, quiero sentirme bien

Quiero bailar, quiero sentir el cielo
quiero volar, ver el amanecer
quiero vivir, sólo el dulce momento
y bailar, quiero sentirme bien

Y quiero, quiero sentir el calor
que tu boca despide en cada oración
que dices, quiero ser el corazón
que tu buscas, que tu buscas

Y quiero bailar, quiero sentir tu cuerpo
y bailar, quiero sentirme bien

Y quiero, quiero sentir el calor
que tu boca despide en cada oración
que dices, quiero ser el corazón
que tu buscas, que tu buscas

Quiero bailar, ser suave movimiento
y gozar, quiero sentirme bien
quiero sentirme bien
quiero sentirme bien
quiero sentirme...

Quireme Mucho
Ely Guerra

[translation:]

I want to dance, I want to feel beautiful
I want to sing, to see the dawn
I want to feel only your sweet mouth
and to dance, I want to feel good

I want to dance, I want to feel the sky
I want to fly, to see the dawn
I want to live, only the sweet moment
and to dance, I want to feel good

and I want, I want to feel the heat
that your mouth dispels with each word
you speak, I want to be the heart
that you look for, that you look for

and I want to dance, I want to feel your body
and to dance, I want to feel good
and I want, I want to feel the heat
that your mouth dispels with each word
you speak, I want to be the heart
that you look for, that you look for

I want to dance, to be smooth movement
and to enjoy, I want to feel good
I want to feel good
I want to feel good
I want to feel...

guten morgen! :D

leaving for LA this saturdayyy :D so much to take care of before then...

REcap: arigato~ finished training as a waitress but i still dono the menu. prolly cuz i've only been going 2~3 times a week cuz of my schedule (and this week's no better). everyone keeps asking me if it's tough, or, "it's a lot harder than studying isn't it?" i always reply, "it's different." but they still keep at it. it's not easy--there's a lot of elbow grease and pandering--but it's not newtonian physics. i get super hot when i'm running around but that's about it. oOoOh, but last nite i had my first ICKY customer experience. why is it always the korean ones who are the worst?? wut is up with our race?

it was a busy nite and i was helping clear off part of the sushi bar while the customers were waiting for the seats. the korean lady hovers over me while i'm cleaning and starts pointing at all the bits of food left by the last people. well DUH, that's why i'm cleaning the table. and WHILE i'm cleaning and getting to the rest of the table, she sticks her wormy little finger on a noodle and flicks it with this repulsive arrogant look on her face. that's fucking disgusting. and i was fucking getting to it and i purposely avoided it b/c we don't use our cloths for foods and sauce gunk cuz we DO have hygiene standards (we use napkins and toss everything out). i seriously rolled my eyes at her. fucking stuck up bitch. and then, AFTER i finished cleaning it, she had to go over it all herself with a napkin. why even eat out?! she should just stay home and clorox her silverware. that was the first time someone passed my tolerance level there. most people realize when they're being stupid shitheads and stop, but that lady had something up her ass and seemed to like being that way. ok all done bitching. :)

otherwise it's really fun. heh. the waitresses and sushi chefs are super nice, and the kitchen people are entertaining with their spanish/korean/english mishmash communication. still trying to find a way to help with that.......

lynn came and left and will be leaving for korea tomorrow... =( i don't think it's hit me quite yet, but then again, we've been doing the long distance friendship thing for a while now and we never really have trouble picking rite back up. we can just go "wheeeeeeeeeeee" for a whole conversation and have fun. and with all the wonders of technology: blogs, email, skype, aim... i'm betting we'll be up-to-date on each other as ever. i'm just hoping that this trip will be awesome for her and that she'll experience everything she's wishing for. <3<3>

so i FINALLY checked out studio 181 after all those times we talked about it (since JANuary) but never went. i liked it :). mixed crowd and neat layout. but i thought it was a lounge and we were going to lounge, so i dressed warm and kept getting overheated cuz we ended up dancing the whole nite. i was SO happy to be back in the city :D. i luvs that place. i REALLY rEALLAY REALLY want to move there. SO much eye candy ~ the art, the culture, the nature, the structures, the people, TODOS. i think once i establish a little experience waitressing, i'm gonna live up there for a few months, or maybe longer. there's more work up there and more volunteer opportunities and more enrichment stuff. :D

had a luverly brunch with lynn and polly before lynn's flight on saturday. polly gets a 50% discount at the italian restaurant she works at so we got to eat gourmet food at fast food prices :D. the zabbioni (?) there is soooo yummy. it's this fluffy, light pudding stuff with sorbet and rasberries, and hits the spot after a heavy meal. yUmm.

i could keep blabbing about how lynn got her black nano and how it is absolutely gorgeous, or how cute the bunnies in wallace & gromit are, or the global health special i've been following on pbs (which i wrote a fat entry on but LOST >:P), or my first game of texas-holdem on halloween, or the cute things younger guys say and do, but i've blabbed enough and it's time to do some WORK. but before i go..... lookie mai baby :D she's so cute. courtesy of my sister and her photography class:

saturday mornings have such interesting tv programming: rodeo shows and horse races... who knew? apparently there's a sport where men time themselves to see how fast they can jump off their horses and wrangle down a calf. 3.7 seconds--that's pretty damn fast. but it's over so fast. :P

~

i spent the majority of my breakfast mesmerized by bill clinton speaking at some texas book festival. man, can he speak! especially now that he can be completely honest about his stances and opinions, the stuff that comes out of his mouth is so refreshing, intelligent, insightful, and F-ING true. it's really too bad he's not running the country right now.

he touched on the disaster relief, the war, taxes, corporations, health reform, poverty, children, debt, politics--all in the context of being socially responsible while being fiscally practical. his comments didn't cater to any specific interests, nor turn a blind eye to them. he was just fair and honest.

it's so sad how so many things in our society are presented as black and white, instead of the complex and dynamic issues they are, mainly for ease of comprehension and appeal. i would elaborate on this but i think mr.clinton did a much better job. i think he was speaking at that specific festival because he's out with a new book on the topics he was discussing. can't find the title, but i'll post it up once i find it. it should be an interesting read.

~

during his whole speech, i got a real sense of the conservative American values that are immortalized in the stories and foundation of this country. values of decency and neighborly concern--the kind of values that brought a community together to build a house for one of its members--that kind of "little house on the prairie" America. and recently, i've been listening to a lot of country music cuz the place i work at is ALWAYS playing it. i liked it before, but now i'm really starting to understand its appeal and the kind of mindset that the "red" states must be coming from. the states are far from those prairie days, but that kind of ideology is still somewhere in their upbringing and so, in their hearts. there are some beautiful sentiments expressed in their music. (some stupid ones too--thinking of "the redneck yacht club").
i was telling my sister how American country music reminds me of Korean shigol music, which literally translates to "country." it's like the blues for Black people or... hrm. i'm sure each struggling country/ethnicity has their group of melodies that reflects their hardships and roots. anyways, i feel like this is a something in development so i'm sure there will be more on this later.

~

so while i'm watching, my mom walks in and she says, "bill clinton is so mushissuh (basically, hawt). it's no wonder all the women fall for him. i would!" lol. u gotta luv her.

wow. i blame those last two entries on an overdose of chocolate. which i had more of today. researchers have found that dark chocolate (70+% cocoa) actually contains more antioxidant power than blueberries. yAY! dove dark chocolate is the first big company to develop a special process that better preserves the flavonoids (the gud stuff), so i got a big ol bag the other day and have been working my way thru it steadily. after all, it's gud for my health.

so i started practicing for interviews with lynn today and learned several things: (1) i'm pretentious (also wat she considers my greatest weakness), and (2) i think too much before i speak (ie. i don't sound very human). so i'm gonna start practicing speaking to everyone like i do my sister--cut all the niceness crap out. this is good. for me, that is. bad for everyone else. i wonder how this is going to work with my waitressing job.

on the flip side, she considers my greatest strength to be my "sincere desire to improve myself, those around me, and the world." haha... i never thought of that but i can see what she means now that she's pointed it out. i wonder where it comes from. some desire to realize the ideal--whatever that may be. i guess i get my idealism from my dad. he has an unbelievable integrity to his life philosophies, which are very ideal. it can be frustrating at times, which i'm sure relates to me too. but i truly admire his honest and simple approach to life; both aspects i long for in an ideal world.

personally, i'm not sure what i consider my own strengths and weaknesses. there are still a lot of things i have to sort thru and organize in my head. which i'm off to ahora. buenos noche.

addendum

you know, i just realized. it wasn't LA in particular. it was UCLA. i remember when i first went there, i talked to random people on the buses and in my classes. and i met some really cool people--some of the most interesting i've ever met. but a lot of the students there are so self-contained and when you poke their bubble, they look at you like a lunatic.

over the years, i adopted the same kind of attitude. it was useful then and there, but now that i'm out in the stranger-filled world again, i think it would be good to rekindle some of that human trust and congeniality. oOh. i get to be alive again.

irasshaimase!

translation: welcome! in japanese.

just finished day 3 at the sushi restaurant. (still getting "quit" lectures after every shift from my mom. wonder how long that's going to last. i plan to continue this for a while.) it's fun! :D hehe... i feel kinda guilty saying that b/c a lot of the people who work there are there because they need the $, and they dun like it much. it's definitely not easy. all that cleaning and running around and nonstop schmoozing. but i love the busy atmosphere and being around normal, non-institutionalized people. they have such down-to-earth personalities.

the best part is, not only am i getting a nice workout from all the physical labor, i'm getting a total mental workout which is exactly what i was looking for. years in a university atmosphere, studying books and interacting with college populations put me in a very specific mindset. it's one where diligence, focus, solitude, abstract thinking, and a lot of PC-behavior was required. short-term memory got a lot less practice than long-term, and a lot of down time went into studying (at least for premed crap). it all makes me a very sedate and internal person.

working in busy atmospheres like the restaurant pushes me to exercise my short-term memory, rapid coordination/efficiency, start and maintain conversations with complete strangers, and rid me of my tunnel vision. the latter is a literal thing. i think it's something i acquired in LA, but everyone does it. when you just shut out the world around you--like when you go grocery shopping or walk down a street; you don't look at the people passing by you, you block them out or act as though they're not there. hrm, i'm not sure if i worded that correctly.

the image i'm seeing is a crowded new york sidewalk with people walking busily to where they have to go, oblivious to all the passerbys. comprende? anyways, at the restaurant, i have to constantly be watching for people's dining experience and the bar and kitchen activities. if someone's watching me, i can't pretend like i don't notice because they might need something. this job made me realize how good i'd gotten over the years at blocking stuff out, and now it's making me more aware of my surroundings again (esp. people). plus it's helping me open up and get over my stranger-phobia. i luv that part b/c i have MAJOR stranger-phobia and sometimes i wish i could just to approach random-ass people and ask them about their lives b/c people have so much to offer (and i'm curious), but i've been so conditioned to not.

anyways, i'm enjoying it and my coworkers are cool. i'm kind of formulating an idea that may fruition... a lot of them don't speak english well (esp the kitchen workers), so i'm trying to think of a way that i could help. ANY IDEAS??? :)

test on the pulmonary system tomorrow! funfun! :D i'm such a nerd, but it is SO interesting. now i just need to find a medically-related volunteer activity (or paid job :) and i'm set for the year. yAY!

and speaking of hot men... :) yoo oh sung is still my favorite korean actor b/c skill trumps all, but for eye candy, YUMMY eye candy, it's soh ji seop hands down.

LYNN, and all this time i thought you and i had totally different taste in men. i now commend you for your excellent judgment. keke. it's all about dem druggy/chinky eyes and that nice manly jawline. i jus realized, he looks like a manlier, taller version of eunjiwon eh? whatever happened to him? haha. remember how we used to print out crazy pictures of him? lol* i think i still have some of the ones yu printed out for me! wonder if he got any hotter. u think u can stalk those two for me while yur in korea? maybe get a few hundred photos of them and possibly kidnap soh ji seop and send him to me for xmas? :D

lol* why do we even bother with emails? i read yur blog almost religiously, and yur the only one reading mine. still i want juicy stuff. especially if yur gonna send me a wrapped up soh ji seop.

by Linda Dominique Grosvenor

"You spot his gorgeous form across the room and your eyes lock. He winks and you offer up a sexy smile that means--I’m available. He comes over and introduces himself, and after exchanging a little about yourselves too you discover--yikes! He’s younger than you are. You search your mind--what do they call women who date younger men? Cradle-robbers, among other things. But he’s so darn cute and the attraction is definitely there, right? That’s when it hits you, the stigma of dating a younger man has really all but disappeared. When first spotted out on the town with Ashton Kutcher who is notably younger, the fabulously older Demi Moore showed no remorse at all. She’s my hero. Women like Demi and Cameron Diaz are now making it fashionable to be found clutching the arm of a younger man, and thank God for them!

There used to be a time when society deemed it bad taste or taboo for women to bridge the age gap by dating a younger man, but May December romances are inevitably on the rise. Women have taken a no holds barred approach to dating and refuse to settle just for what they can get, they’re going after what they want--an ageless package of pure man. This proactive approach to dating of course means, hooking up regardless of age. Some believe that it’s the age gap itself that will hinder the relationship, but I tend to think that if the couple has enough in common and possesses more than just a “lust” for each other, any older woman, younger man relationship really can work and develop into something mutual and lasting.

[...]
So, when you meet a younger man, loosen up and enjoy yourself. A date is just a date, not every man-meets-woman outing ends in holy matrimony, neither should we expect it to. My advice is, don’t make a bigger deal out of it than it is. A date is just that, a date. [...]"

hrm... words to consider. a date IS just a date.
but wut's the cutoff point? is 18 legal or 21 legal? euw... 18. that's only one year older than my sister. gross. 21 is more fathomable... after all, i was there not TOO long ago...
harhar, yet hotness is as hotness does. i'm too old-fashioned as it is. need to branch out of my safety zone. i foresee some interesting stories... possibly more to come. >:)

cantinflas en espanol

"Teatro Visión is honored to be paying homage to the comedic style and life of Mexican icon Mario Moreno, better known as ¡Cantinflas!. Herbert Sigüenza of the troupe Culture Clash wrote and will be starring in his play about the legend of Mexican cinema who won over audiences worldwide with his brand of unique physical comedy and social satire. Using flashbacks stemming from a 1993 interview, ¡Cantinflas! will have you doubling over your seat in laughter from the universal comedy and hilarious dance routines that illustrate the comedy and genius of the man Charlie Chaplin once called the greatest comic ever born.
This show will be presented bilingually in English and Spanish."

Bay Area Arts was having a theatre appreciation day where theatres were opening up their seats for free. My eyes lit up being the theatre freak that I am and FREE is always happy news, so I click to the site and aside from a children's production of some magic flute, "Cantinflas" is the only show left with tix.

I read the above description and think, sounds interesting. A Mexican Charlie Chaplin eh? Reserved my two free tix and the day rolls around (yesterday) and my art appreciation buddy happens to be in socal, making me realize that I need more artsy fartsy friends in norcal. i wonder how you meet those. harhar (imagination running wild).

after several calls and jokes about my art eccentricities (mexican charlie chaplin?!), I end up dragging my sister there, speeding to make it to the 8 o'clock show. We sit down 5 minutes into the show, and realize all the actors are speaking in super fast SPANISH.

and there's no translator. no subtitles. an "american reporter" speaks in english for brief periods and that's the extent of "presented bilingually in English and Spanish." O_o

at first i tried to translate what i could for my sister, but all i was going off of was one quarter of spanish and a month in south america. so there'd be long rapid conversations in spanish, and me translating what i knew every 10 seconds: "face.... never... hat... cut..." then half the audience bursts out laughing and we're sitting there clueless.

and i say only half, because i think half the people in that theatre were in the same boat as us. anyways, after a while, we just gave up trying to translate and had fun joking about our situation. my sister kept laughing loudly whenever the spanish-speaking part of the audience laughed and i was trying to stifle my laughter and chastise her at the same time. heh.

from what i could gauge, it was a beautifully simple play and the jokes were very clever (the ones said in english). AND the kulest part, i got a glimpse of a chicano cultural enclave that i never knew existed in south san jose. the theatre, small cafes, restaurants, etc. it's like our mini koreatown/street here, but it's so easy to live in that limited sphere and forget that those spheres exist for so many other rich cultures. or you never think to step into that other sphere until someone leads you there and guides you through the foreign customs, language and food.

that was one of my favorite things about LA: the diversity and richness of culture. but it still doesn't beat the natural serenity of norcal. :) ok. enough gabbing for today. errands time!

finally saw BEAT this past weekend at jae oppa's. not bad; i could see why it turned into a "classic." but it doesn't touch CHINGOO. YOO OH SUNG was fricken MUH SHI SSUH as always. i think he was the best part of the whole movie, but i could be biased. main guy was too soft and the comic relief was annoying. i liked the main chick though--she had character and didn't look plastic. i miss seeing real people in movies. 

mai beautiful unnies. haha, and skilled at multitasking too.  

disgusting and awesome at the same time. the banana split at max's opera cafe.  

doin the boujie thing at stanford shopping mall. 

the lovely duo: ji unnie and peter hyungboo (that means brother-in-law). 

mai sister was so enthralled by the toilet covers at sushi-oh-sushi that she turned around and snapped a photo. remember, change it first BEFORE you sit down. 

mi dongseng and mi unnie melissa. 

wut a weekend. moi and mi unnies. :D 

why are even slightly well-to-do korean men such dickwads? the way they act like they're the shit makes me want to hurl. BOTH korean doctors my parents have seen at Kaiser are about HALF the age of my parents, but they are so disrespectful and full of themselves. they don't listen and they think they're SO right and knowledgeable. i don't give a shit if they went to harvard med; they don't know jack shit about being a doctor.

if a patient tells you that he or she is feeling pain or discomfort, then you probe their daily habits and try to find a cause and solution to the problem. these fucktards just relegate my parents to other doctors, or unnecessary test procedures, or dismiss (DISMISS!) their issues because they want to cover their asses and all they can think about is how many patients they serve and that they're so fucking busy cuz they're so great. the only way to get their attention is to probably walk in bleeding from your side.

that's what i hate about allopathic medicine. it focuses on intervention instead of prevention and integration. your body is composed of many parts, not just yur kidney or yur heart or yur brain. they function together and should be looked at together. and if your body is acting funny, that's its way of putting up red flags for something that's going wrong and could potentially get worse. but isn't it better to investigate and treat something before it turns into a forest fire? ARRGg.

the thing is, most new doctors have been taught these things so when we see my dad's indian specialist or caucasian internist, it feels like all the coordinating and rearrangements we made to go to these appointments was worthwhile. but it's always these fucktard korean doctors who make us feel like it was a waste of time. do they realize it takes weeks of convincing to get my parents to go check their health? do they realize how hard my parents work daily and what a rarity it is for my parents to take the time to take care of themselves? and we can't really choose and pick which doctor to see because there's only ONE korean clinician in this area at any time. and they're always fuckers.

the more i encounter koreans in business or any profession, the less i trust their credentials and integrity. what is wrong with our race? i think the mothers have some responsibility cuz they treat their sons like fucking deities. whatever they want, however they want it, and then some. it's no wonder they never turn into proper men. you would think these 30+, 40ish professionals would understand life a little better to be able to interact with their patients in an effective manner.

they're ugly as hell too. serves em right.

THE WAR WITHIN opens Friday, October 14th at the Lumiere Theatre. “The broad strokes of The War Within represent some of America’s worst fears. This is the story of a man committed to sacrificing his own life in a murderous act of terror. But this is not a film of broad strokes. Instead, in a mounting succession of chilling, understated scenes, it quietly charts the map of uncertainty between Hassan’s decision and the realization of his plot.” – Cameron Bailey, Toronto Film Festival (read full review)

A letter from the film's director/co-writer, Joseph Castelo:
"Inspired by films like Shadow of a Doubt, Taxi Driver, and The Battle of Algiers, I wanted to make a movie that explored the painful no-man’s land between empathy and terror. It seems to me that’s where we are caught today, in a world reshaped since 9/11 into a landscape of treacherous ideologies peopled by dehumanized effigies. How to make a truthful and gripping—a visceral and yet emotionally intelligent experience—about this subject in today’s climate? Which is to ask: How to stay true to the human realities of the film’s subject matter, realities which are so often obscured by the politicizing discourses we have become accustomed to?
THE WAR WITHIN is our attempt. My filmmaking partners and I committed ourselves deeply to this difficult task, and we are tremendously gratified by the opportunity finally to share it with audiences."

Joseph Castelo Hassan (co-writer Ayad Akhtar) is a Pakistani suicide bomber heading for New York, but the day the attack is due to take place, all the cell members except him and another man are arrested. Desperate, Hassan turns to his former best friend Sayeed (Firdous Bamji), who is living the American dream with his family in New Jersey. After lying to Sayeed about why he is in the U.S., Hassan begins buying parts for explosives. As the days pass, and he gets closer to Sayeed's family, Hassan's determination to complete his mission starts to waver.

You can watch the trailer here. You can buy tickets here.

MAJOR props to Castelo for having the balls to tread and tackle the grays of reality, painting it like it is.

ithaca

When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,
pray that the road is long,
full of adventure, full of knowledge.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the angry Poseidon -- do not fear them:
You will never find such as these on your path,
if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
emotion touches your spirit and your body.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,
if you do not carry them within your soul,
if your soul does not set them up before you.

Pray that the road is long.
That the summer mornings are many, when,
with such pleasure, with such joy
you will enter ports seen for the first time;
stop at Phoenician markets,
and purchase fine merchandise,
mother-of-pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
and sensual perfumes of all kinds,
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
visit many Egyptian cities,
to learn and learn from scholars.

Always keep Ithaca in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for many years;
and to anchor at the island when you are old,
rich with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.

Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would have never set out on the road.
She has nothing more to give you.

And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived you.
Wise as you have become, with so much experience,
you must already have understood what Ithacas mean.

by Constantine P. Cavafy

http://www.hotelfox.dk/rooms.html
"For the launch of the new Volkswagen Fox [car] 21 international artists from the fields of graphic design, urban art and illustration turned Hotel Fox in central Copenhagen, into the world’s most exciting and creative lifestyle hotel. 61 rooms, 21 artist, 1,000 ideas Each room is an individual piece of art. "

SO kuL O____o i luv innovation. i am so proud to be a volkswagen owner rite now ^_____^;;

other news: i went in for my cheesecake factory interview and got invited for a 2nd interview for serving. :D i was like 2nd interview ?___? 3rd interview ?! ??____?? *sigh* who knew waitressing would be such a hard dream to realize? ehehe. if not waitressing, then crossing my fingers for hostessing. damn. i sound so ambition-less. but i've always wanted to try waitressing--for the environment, the food 101, the chance to meet people, and the idea that you receive direct affirmation of your sales/people skills [tips!!].

i wish i'd done this sooner. it took a month of unemployment, life upheavals, and several paulo coehlo books for me to realize that i shouldn't let my momma's old-fashioned hang-ups hinder me from doing things i really want to do--especially something as harmless as waitressing. i realized that that's not the kind of love i want to fight for; she may love me because i'm being a "good daughter" in obeying her, but i need to explore and live out my life and gain the kind of love that grows with the people involved. she'll be fine with it once i bring home some useful cuisine knowledge. ^^;;

come to think of it, she was so vehemently against me getting my motorcycle license, but now that it's done, silence. lol* mothers... and fathers... perhaps part of their jobs is to throw a few obstacles in your path so that you learn to fight for what you truly want and believe in.

so what next? the accursed word for all parents: art! >:) i started painting again b/c it's always with me [psychologically], and i think i'm going to try making it more than a hobby. more on this later.

let's see... it's october, so that leaves about 11 months before school starts, IF i get into medical school. hrm. which reminds me, i should apply to some master's and post-bacc programs just in case. so i guess, regardless i will be starting something 11 months from now. 11 months... to pursue some of those crazy things on my running list of "things to do in my lifetime."

checked off in the past 9 months: taught kids [yes, i'm a nerd], got a tattoo, new year's eve in times square [somewhat spontaneous event], travelled to a foreign country, got my motorcycle license, allowed myself to lose control [just for a little bit], and waitressing [in progress].

stuff i still want to do in the near future: pierce my tragus [spelling? the little flap in front of your ear hole], sell my artwork :D, go to a museum all by myself [easier said than done], write a story, have a one-nite stand [ambivalent on this one], ROAD TRIP or trek across europe, adopt a kid [ehehe, maybe just an overseas one for now, and then the real thing MUCh later :P].

that's all i the stuff i can think of off the top of my head, of what i've done and want to do. i should really make a tangible list.

life is like a box of chocolates: SO YUMMY =9.

it's paulo coehlo marathon over here; just finished coehlo's veronika decides to die and eleven minutes, the first being about mental illness and the second, prostitution (at the most superficial level). not bad. the latter being a much quicker read than the first (altho the first was shorter) because it was about sex and sex is always intriguing. but the first ended with quite an impression. i recommend both as essential intellectual food. coehlo uses the suicide and prostitution of his protagonists to do what he always does: discuss the nature of true life, love, and happiness. with a grain of salt as always--after all, this is only one man's experience and views of the world.
another painting to finish, a stack of books waiting, my share of daily errands, and a beautiful day to enjoy. no wonder the leisure class is so worldly. and restless.

burn it down 'till embers smoke on the ground
and start new when your heart is an empty room
with walls of the deepest blue

home's face: how it ages when you're away
and spring blooms and you find a love that's true
but you don't know what now to do
'cause the chase is all you know and she stopped running months ago

and all you see is where else you could be when you're at home
and out on the street are so many possibilities to not be alone

the flames and smoke climbed out of every window
and disappeared with everything that you held clear
but you shed not a single fear
for the things that you didn't need
'cause you knew you were finally here

"your heart is an empty room"
~deathcab for cutie

new york times international section: asia

"south korea: concert stampede kills 11"

thousands of people trying to enter a sports stadium for a music concert caused a stampede that killed 11 people and injured 72 others, officials said. the concert, in sangju, 165 miles southeast of seoul, was for a program of old korean songs popular among the elderly, part of a weekly show televised nationally. the 11 people died when one of the stadium gates opened to let the audience inside, a local official said. among the dead were eight women aged 54 to 76.

lol* sorry, it's the visuals xD...

in the words of my observant friend, "teesa, you are a volatile woman."
i think i've changed the colors for this blog at least 3 times since i got back from s.am, which amounts to TWO months of time. damn. i can't believe it's already been two months, and at the same time, that it's only been two months.

so the inspiration for this new background is from marcos chin's "club life" art piece, slightly modified and showcased on the left side of this page. i love his art. first saw it on the lavalife ads, wondered who the artist was, never really got around to searching until today, and then, jackpot :D. to see his vibrant, fresh, lively art with his great use of monochromatic color schemes: www.marcoschin.com.


the ads that sparked the curiosity...


wow. so clean. i wish my world looked like this. :D

another late visual. but in the long run, it still makes things prettier. 

"...the distance between railway tracks is always 143.5 centimeters, or 4 feet 8.5 inches. Why this absurd measurement? [...] When they built the first train carriages, they used the same tools as they had for building horse-drawn carriages. And why that distrance between the wheels on carriages? Because that was the width of the old roads along which the carriages had to travel. And who decided that roads should be that width? It was the Romans, the first great road builders, who decided to make their roads that width. And why? Because their war chariots were pulled by two horses, and when placed side by side, the horses they used at the time took up 143.5 centimeters."

"[...] the world we know today is merely a story someone has told us, but it is not the true story."

[Why are people sad?]

"[...] They are the prisoners of their personal history. Everyone believes that the main aim in life is to follow a plan. They never ask if that plan is theirs or if it was created by another person. They accumulate experiences, memories, things, other people's ideas, and it is more than they can possibly cope with. And that is why they forget their dreams."

"How does one go about abandoning the story one was told?"

"By repeating it out loud in meticulous detail. And as we tell our story, we say goodbye to what we were and, as you'll see if you try, we create space for a new, unknown world. We repeat the old story over and over until it is no longer important to us. [...] as those spaces grow, it is important to fill them up quickly, even if only provisionally, so as not to be left with a feeling of emptiness. [...] That is how we change. That is how love grows. And when love grows, we grow with it."

Excerpts from The Zahir

"According to the writer Jorge Luis Borges, the idea of the Zahir comes from Islamic tradition and is thought to have arisen at some point in the eighteenth century. Zahir, in Arabic, means visible, present, incapable of going unnoticed. It is someone or something which, once we have come into contact with them or it, gradually occupiers our every thought, until we can think of nothing else. This can be considered either a state of holiness or of madness. ~Faubourg Saint-Peres from the Encyclopaedia of the Fantastic (1953)" i vote madness. 

one of my favorite rodin pieces. "danaide" we didn't see this one but more art in this world = good. 

google is so awesome. i type in frozen turkey, click google image, and the image of the EXACT SAME turkey i bought pops up. it's magic. 

back to the world of the living?

that's a slight allusion to the "corpse bride" which i saw yesterday. luverly. the visuals were haunting and dark and beautiful. and it was a sweet g-rated luv story, with the characteristic tim burton flair for pushing borders. the plot was a bit weak, but it was worth the money to see the mind-blowing claymation. and now that i am reflecting on it, it had such a heartbreaking quality to the whole story. and a couple exquisite songs (eg. victor's piano solo and the piano duet). exxxxquisite.

woke up at 5am today. grrr. it's happening so frequently lately that i'm resigning myself to it. didn't crawl out of bed till 5:40 tho :P. then off to foothill to take care of classes. wow. i forgot how bad commuting was. but it's never piss-you-off bad unless you're in a rush and i wasn't in a rush. i got to foothill at 8 and was pleasantly surprised to see a woodsy campus area nestled in the los altos hills and lotsa people my age. it was so strange to see so many young people again. i don't think i ever really appreciated crowds of people my age until today. usually my eyes fall on the oh-so-beautiful elderly or people who look unique or interesting, but today, i was just so happy to be back in a school environment again. i've been so dissatisfied with my goings-on lately. definitely want to return to the world of the busy and "living." plus i am a nerd thru and thru.

anyways, i tried to audit some pathology course offered for medical technicians and the professor wouldn't even let me sit in. stingy old lady. i just want to keep my brain awake! apparently, this is the case for a lot of courses at foothill--you need muchos prereqs or need to apply to some health training program. SO, i took my business over to de anza. but not before taking a quickie tour of stanford med school and having lunch with seb at the rodin garden.

the stanford admissions lady was super nice and that reminds me, i should probably email her and thank her. everybody at stanford is so smiley and there are so many beautiful people. tall and yuppy looking. not stereotyping, just an observation. i chilled at stanford shopping center in one of those little enclaves with the trees, treated myself to some dark chocolate godiva truffle (oh yum :9) and continued my reading of the zahir. i really enjoyed that, especially with today's weather.

the zahir--not the most beautiful prose, but he captures ideas and life lessons so well. i kept stopping to take down quotes every few pages. paulo coehlo lives life like a dream. i've lost my desires to live in such an ideal-driven world, but it's always great decadent food for the soul when yu need it (like godiva truffles...).

i stopped by the little corner market at the center (oakville? grocers) to pick up lunch for me and seb. brought back memories of when i was a wee lil girl (6 or 7) and my dad used to take my sister and i out on mini exploration trips. i came to know the streets of the south bay so well. anyways, we once bought custom sandwiches at that grocers and they were the best sandwiches i had ever had up to that point in my life. after that, we had copycat homemade sandwiches non-stop for like a month. i think my luv of sandwiches began then. haha. such lil things can impact you forever.

after a pleasant chat over sandwiches, seb and i pondered the artistic genius of rodin and his "gates to hell." made a raincheck for the cantor museum which we had planned to visit, but couldn't cuz we got too caught up in our talk. made plans to watch "goodbye, lenin" and have a potluck. i luv having a stable art appreciation buddy :). lynn, i dun need your saggy ass anymore. ehehe. jk. what would i ever do w/o yur ghetto yuppy pimp daddyness.

newayz, then off to de anza ~ crazy flashbacks. gud and bad. like the summer i met trev and alfie in some summer class and we kept getting called on by the teacher cuz SOMEbody kept cracking jokes. (good). scary white guy stalker from de anza. (bad). sitting in front of the library and enjoying beautiful norcal weather. (good). scary white guy stalker from de anza. (bad). ehehe. it's kinda funny now that i think about it. but man was it creepy back then. kudos for overcoming fears and getting over the past.

on the way home, i bought a whole frozen turkey. :D heeee. i'm gonna thaw that sucker and cook enough sandwich meat for my sister to eat for a YEAR. ehehe. jk. a month mebbe. i'm such a spendthrift. but she goes thru those lil sandwich meat packs SO fast.

then a lil excursion to the lake once i got home. i luv going out there. it's so serene. (i should plan a picnic. oooh, i think i'll do that.)
when the sun is sparkling along the surface of the lake and a soft breeze is blowing, i feel so... free. i think i was a cloud in my past life.

shower, sleep and a new day tomorrow. plus lynn and yoonie unnie's visit to look forward to. and whatever other simple pleasures lie ahead. it's all about the journey, and i hope mine is the most pleasant, conflict-absent, drama-devoid, beauty-filled, kindness-inciting, peaceful, moving experience i can make it.

the stellar gemini. (one of them anyways)
i meant to post this the other day. eye candy is always a plus.

Most of the elements in the human body were created in the inferno of a burning star.
-NASA fact @ www.nasa.org

i have been getting so much great brain food lately: mit molecular assemblers, legislative history lesson on soju, contraptions that can make ice from thin air, the great one liners by paolo coehlo, etc. that i dono wat to comment on. so i will take the lazy way out and write about nada today. plus i have to register for classes that start tomorrow! crossing my fingers...

mit is so crazy. they are developing molecular assemblers that could be viable in the next few decades. molecular assemblers! like that shit on star trek where the food materializes out of some hole in your wall. i want me one of those. chocolate molten lava fudge cake please. again. again. one more hit. ehehe...

i would like to invent something really cool. like water in a tablet. pop one in your mouth and it rehydrates you AND you get the refreshing sensation of H2O. how cool would that be after a long ass hike? too bad i'm not a physicist.

today's weather was fricken awesome. thunder, lightning, rain, speeding clouds, then a warm, clear night of twinkling stars. *___*;; jus wut i needed. i was feeling so blah these past few days from sheer exhaustion. and then one 3 hour nap and a 3 mile walk/jog later, i feel like nothing can phase me. it's all about physiology. i wonder how much of our thoughts and reactions we're really in control of...

anyways, to bed or i'll be back in shitville again. yay for crazy weather. i hope this continues. i haven't jogged in the rain for ages and that's exactly wat i'm gonna do tomorrow if this weather keeps up. :D

i went on my night hike. yay for following through. was gorgeous with the weather and almost full moon. gracias para mi amiga who kept me company the whole way. ^__________^
impractical of me tho cuz i gotta go up to the city tomorrow and be bright and alert, which means i should be sleeping rite now. faawkety fawk.



i think my dog is going to die. 'jl;joipj;mhnl.;kopyuftyl/'!@#$%^&aowur3

my baby.....

. 

i really feel like a nite hike rite now. full moon and great weather. but sooo tired. i am getting so old.
today was very nice. family went out together and appeased my mom by going to mass with her. ate lots of yummy rice cake and chulsok food, and then finally went to see charlie and the chocolate factory. i heard a lot of mixed reviews about it, but i absolutely loved it. so much visual candy and i loved the off-humor and pg-13 complexity (versus g). tim burton is very kuL. i think it is time for a tim burton marathon.
afterwards, we all went to the lake with our doggy and now we're jus winding down. very relaxing and it always makes my heart happy to see my parents smile and laugh.
saturday was really nice too. ehehe, this weekend was just very "nice" cuz of the weather and quality time spent. there was actually a little sun in union square and the korean festival was enjoyable, especially the traditional korean songs. they're so soulful, in a korean way. afterwards, the men sat down somewhere and did their male vej thing, while we women shopped. the neiman marcus in union square is so boujie. we were walking through trying to guess the prices of the clothes, and then making really loud (unintentionally) comments when we were off by a few hundred dollars.
i was close to passing out by dinner time from sleep deprivation so unfortunately, i missed out on the frisco parties (sorry alfie :T). i jus can't hang anymore. lately, all i want to do is curl up with a gud book and do outdoor things. maybe it's the weather. so gorgeous.
anyways, back to the essays and job searches tomorrow. bleh.

it's amazing... you think you know with absolute conviction, and then you realize you know jack shit. but i'm kind of getting used to it b/c it happens so much.
emotions are seemingly so irrational--but there must be some logic to them or how would they prevail so frequently? how many times do u have to tell yourself something before it comes true? or is it always a lie? 

WOW

i went group hopping last nite and met a lot of nice ppol and saw some familiar faces. one of these belonged to joe choe from leland, whom i know better as rebeka's (from good sam) boyfriend. anyways, we were doing the usual "what are you up to?" conversation thing, and as a joke, i asked, "so are you gonna pop the question to becky anytime soon?" and he says, "i did. last week." ((o__o))!!

now the fact that both of them are younger than me lends it some shock value (altho a lot of people are getting married fricken young these days) but that's not what the WOW is for. check out how he proposed to her: www.joeandrebeka.com. it is the cutest thing i have seen in ages. and the last page was so touching... WOW. rebeka is one of the most smiley and bright girls i have ever met and seeing such happiness come to her reminds me that things in the world can be so right.

hrm... aside from that, i learned that stanford law school is really adiverse. i think i made that word up btw; if it's real, i'll be dumbstruck. anyways, their classes are 90% caucasian. sucks for the whole diversity experience thing, but i guess it is reality in a lot of neighborhoods. so every thursday, they do a "bar review" (hahaha. :P) and bar hop in the stanford area. that's gotta be great business for those bars cuz there's a ton of them stanford students. i went cuz i was curious how prestigious law students present themselves. it's definitely a different feel from med student gatherings. interesting to say the least, and always a pleasure seeing the lovely seb.

prior to party hopping, i went to barnes to try to work on my essay, but somehow, i ended up with a huge stack of books, taking up two chairs in a corner of the children's section, totally oblivious to time and the outside world cuz i forgot my cell in the car. i luv how reading good shit can do that to you. food for the soul. books i want to read: veronika decides to die (paolo coehlo), eleventh minute (paolo coehlo), *reread* the alchemist (pc), dumb love *children's book* <--luv these (kathleen jeffrie johnson), angels and demons (dan brown), *reread* the dark trilogy (phillip pullman), the kite runner (khaled hosseim), the problem of pain (cs lewis)... i'm gonna storm the library next week. ^__^ and i bought a book about a pediatric heart surgeon--curious about the profession; mebbe i'll get some ideas.

chulsok is this weekend. free korean culture show in union square this saturday afternoon! :D

which reminds me of something... who would you consider closer? an aunt you never met or an acquaintance in your class? who would you cry more for if they died? when you're watching e! and they do a biography on someone famous and you're touched by their life and death, are those the same feelings of grief you would feel? when someone close to you dies, then, is it for them or for yourself?

ooh, and speaking of death... so weird. a couple days ago i had the freakiest dream that ashbitch had somehow lured me into her home and was subversively trying to torture me. and THEN, yesterday i see one of the three people i hate in the world. ashbitch being one of them, and the girl i saw last nite being another. scaaary.

whew. i spent 2 hours at the dmv today to get my official m1 license to riiiide. :P
it was getting a little tiresome, but i realized i like sitting and observing at the dmv.
wut a crossroads for all walks of life--you got the little old grannies and granpas retaking their tests, and then the there's the superhappy teenagers getting their licenses for the first time. there's the thuggy looking latinos and the young professionals. mommies, daddies, asians with their translators in tow. even the employees there are interesting. someone should do a documentary.

hee. so (once again) i just barely passed my test (a written one this time)--but i passed! i missed all the questions in the last 4 pages of the dmv book, which i didn't get to. thank gudness i read it while i was waiting. the test is nothing like the one they give you in the classes. not exactly sure wut i paid 198 bucks for now... newayz, they punched a big fat hole in my current license and said my new one's on the way in 2-3 weeks. so in the meantime, i get to carry around a big sheet of white paper for a license like some pre-pubescent teen. and i'm not so sure i want the new one cuz they took a new picture and i wasn't expecting that... dundundun.

i smiled nice and big in my pic so that if i ever get pulled over by a cop, he'll take a look at my license and i'll get karma points. ^______^;;

now all that's left is the bike and the gear. which doesn't happen until i get a job. which is going ever so slowly. x__x i wish i could waitress... but my mom has threatened to disown me if i do. there's gotta be a way i could pull it off......

i am looking forward to this weekend. mebbe i shouldn't expect so much. high expectations always seem to end up in disappointment. eh. dun care. i am looking forward to this weekend. ^^

i called myself a misogynist yesterday by accident. lynn, stop laughing.

who knew misogynist meant woman-hater? i thought it meant averse to society, otherwise i wouldn't have agreed when my friend called himself one. this is wut i get for being lazy and making assumptions.

i learned something new today (aside from the correct definition of misogynist): misandrist is a male-hater. that should come in handy one day.

so hemingway was a misogynist?! am i missing something??

yes women can be scary but i don't hate most of them. only a few b/c they're SO female and hence super scary.
same goes for men. they can be pretty darn annoying when they are SUPER male. but to hate ALL of them...? when liam neeson and albert einstein and my pappy are among them? not possible.

it's always interesting to examine yourself in retrospect and realize the progression of your life perspective.

that's when i am able to appreciate the crap i went through for the enlightenment.
and reapproach life accordingly--that is, hopefully wiser and smarter (that's not a redundancy).

as time passes, the experiences and lessons seem to fall neatly into place--in part, because they led you to the point you're at, and perhaps in part, because it was only right that they should happen that way (although that would require a belief in destiny--a realm I visit only in rare, miraculous circumstances because my little brain has its limits).

with age, the gap between the act and the realization seems to decrease--thankfully. the point is, you learn and you live on.

"I want to know a lot of things I don't already know-especially as the things I do know, if written down, do not have the permanence I want in my mind."
--Richard Tuttle 

finally got to changing the color scheme; this is what happens when i have time on my hands. but it makes blogging a much more pleasurable experience.

so, i completed my motorcycle classes today :D. but really -__-; cuz they started at 7am so i had to be up at 5:30 the past two days. motorcycles are not easy to handle. i was so excited to get on a bike--until i actually did. the actual execution is so stressful! too much coordination for this lacking individual. and my instructor was this ex-military dude who was yelling left and rite. so scary.

i think if i do get a bike, i'm gonna get a nice little, AUTOMATIC, vespa. practical and cute. sexiness is overrated. and riding bikes is not sexy w/ all the required gear and concentration. nicely dressed gq guy in a convertible versus bright orange/blue/yellow/green leather-clad guy with helmet hair on a bike ~ now do that for a girl. kuL while the bike is moving, but once they get off and walk into a restaurant/bar/class, it's gq guy hands down.

latest and greatest eye candy: sfmoma. nice variegated and sizeable collection of modern art. i actually liked the tuttle exhibit: simple, great use of space, and a loyalty to basic geometrics. there were a couple outstanding pieces, just because of the sheer work that probably went into making the piece (ie. a animated piece composed of graphite sketches erased and redrawn and captured frame by frame, and a huge room of trees with a prison window and running sink which you mistakenly think is a river or waterfall as you approach the piece). the building is a piece in itself, especially the top floor. FIRST TUESDAYS FREE EVERY MONTH :D. and now that i have a stable art appreciation buddy i am going to milk that baby.

but my favorite piece at the museum--three blank white canvasses side by side, about 4' by 6' each. the artist's inspiration? he wanted to capture the essence of a white painting. and the description so sincerely stated the purpose of the painting, attributing deep social significance to it, that i gained quite a respect for this artist who could pull that shit off. artist's are such great bull shitters. i think i almost laughed out loud. my favorite.

latest and greatest triumph: not my license. i got the romeo&juliet dvd for $6.99 out of the bargain bucket at albertsons, and i've wanted this movie forever. score.

it's all about the simple pleasures.

... 

it pained me to read my blog (for reasons other than the vapidity of the content), so now my blog is a girly purple. temporary i assure u.

Americans opening homes, lives, to flood refugees

The offers go on and on -- "Free Rent in Oregon!!" "It's Ohio, but it's comfortable." "Rebuild your life in Cleveland." "Offering my sofa in N.H."
From California to Connecticut and nearly every state in between, Americans are flooding Internet Web sites with offers to open their homes, lives and wallets to evacuees fleeing flood-ravaged New Orleans.
"People have a responsibility to help each other," said Dirk Knudsen, who is providing a free furnished apartment in Beaverton, Oregon, to a New Orleans mother and her two children. "We're not wealthy, but we can provide a safe haven. A lot of people want to do that."
Not since the Civil War have so many Americans been forced to leave home with little but the clothes on their backs. The American Red Cross this week is providing temporary shelters in 18 states for 142,000, but said the number needing homes is much higher. Some estimates put the figure at well over a half million.
Churches, cities and states are trying to fill the need by placing people in low-income apartments, community centers, national guard facilities, sports stadiums and elsewhere, but thousands of individuals want to provide personal havens.
A family in the tiny community of Codell, Kansas, has offered to set up two mobile homes on their land and provide food, clothes and household items.
"We will bring you here or help you get here. We will help you get back on your feet," their Web posting reads.
'THE BEST THING I CAN DO'
A family in Iowa is offering a finished basement and private bathroom for a small family to use rent free "for as long as you need."
A firefighter in Petaluma, California, is offering his living room for a displaced family.
And a single father in Williamsburg, Kentucky, has offered to share his modest 3-bedroom home with up to four adults or teenagers and pet dogs, if they have them.
"I live paycheck to paycheck and I don't have a lot of money to donate, so this is the best thing I can do," said 34-year-old Rob Blatchley, who admits to being a little scared about letting strangers share his home.
There are more than 88,500 beds available at katrinahousing.org, which says it has already placed over 3,000 people. And hurricanehousing.org says it has more than 150,000 such offers. Craigslist.org is another popular site.
"The government is ineffective so it is empowering to have groups coalesce like this across the country," said Lee Daniels, an Arizona technology director who helped create an Internet housing match forum. "It is something people can do other than throw money at the problem."
Many of those reaching out to offer refuge say they were motivated by televised images of the suffering hurricane survivors as well as frustration and anger at the sluggish government reaction.
The frustration is continuing.
The Federal Emergency Management Agency, American Red Cross, and Salvation Army, all assisting those displaced by Hurricane Katrina, say they do not have systems for matching the evacuees with individuals offering housing.
Indeed, in many cases, some officials said they are actively discouraging the private outreach efforts, saying putting strangers in private homes could be unsafe.
That has left private housing placement and transportation largely up to ad hoc groups of volunteers who scurry from shelter to shelter with laptops and computer printouts in hand trying to match those needing housing with the housing offers.
"We just want to help," said Dawn Phlieger, a Kansas mother of four who has posted housing offers on several sites. "These are fellow Americans. They're hurting. They need homes."

self-absorbed?

i've been watching the news on hurricane katrina and the devastation along the gulf coast, and the main emotion i've felt: detached. a lil pissed at bush because i can be (and b/c he makes it so easy), but lately, trying to figure out how i can help. family's donating a lil bit, and my mom keeps saying, "how could we go ___ (shopping, eating out, etc.) when there's so many people suffering?"
when she said that, i thought, "what does that have to do with us enjoying our weekend?" but in retrospect, mommy was rite. i realize how much money was spent this weekend just getting drunk like every other week, and although i got in quality time with the people i luv, wut if someone had said, "let's rent a movie and send the rest for the victims?"
i can't imagine how traumatized i would be if my house was razed and my family had to start all over again with literally nothing. how long does it take to rebuild a home? not just the four walls, but the familiarity (the distinct sound of your family's footsteps, and their favorite places to rest), the memories, the feeling that this is where i can sleep in complete comfort. a few hundred of the katrina victims are coming to the bay for sanctuary, so they'll prolly need some help there. for all yu bay area ppol (polly :), here's the red cross #'s: santa clara r.c. (408) 577-1000, sf bay r.c. (415) 427-8000, palo alto r.c. (650) 688-0415. lemme kno if yur interested and we can go together. :)

i am feeling much better now. wut a LONG weekend... first the 3+ hour hike up mt.diablo w/ my cuzn talking about all manner of things (but mostly our parents), then dinner with her husband and another married couple and their 1.5 yr old kid. very cute, but i'm glad i usually hang out with ppol my own age cuz that marriage/family stuff can get to you. then clubbing with my cuzn. yah. i didn't know married people and 30+ people could party like that. man allll nite. then 2 hours of sleep and off to my first day of motorcycle lessons. :D very excited. then errands, home, SLEEP. dinner. more sleep. then up to the city with the folks to see the tibet exhibit at the asian art museum (worthwhile). farmer's market, a nice fusion lunch, and a drive around the marina then back home. it's so amazing how domestically centralized their lives are cuz all they know is their work and our family. it was interesting to hear their comments about the pieces. "their buddhas have so many arms and heads..." ehehe... then hurry and pack for camping trip at henry coe park. it has a nice view of the stars going for it and...mm, and that's about it. oh! they had an evening program where a lil old man came to talk about the park. he spoke very fondly of the flora and fauna. drink, eat, drink. another couple hours of sleep, home, lunch, more sleep. and now i am feeling ^_^. time to get crackin on the essays and job stuff once again. **new insights/lessons from the weekend: my parents need to go on more dates, parking at mission college is only $2!!, i have ulcers again >:P, i don't know a very important part of myself, california is known as the golden state b/c of the gold hills, asians are genius. 

this is how i feel right now.