a sleeping bag, genetics reading, and 15 hours, waiting like a bum in front of walmart.
who knew this day would ever come? O_o

there are men and women out there, pushing themselves to their limits for something they believe in or desire. they risk their well-being and comfort for a cause and pursue it with the passion of a heart on fire. the rest of us never forget them or their cause.

where is my fire? my heart feels weary and tepid. i wallow in self-pity at the first sign of hardship and failure, and seek escape more than anything else.

i long for a passion that is unwavering, that burns and fuels sustained energy for my goals and visions. my dreams of medicine wake me and remind me of why i'm in this field. on the other hand, i am starting to see the comfort of companionship and family. how do you reconcile visions of greatness with those of domesticity? are they reconcilable? is a compromise just that? disappointing in its indecision and lack of commitment. choose one. pick one. pursue one. and do it with excellence.

"All you need is already within you, only you must approach your self with reverence and love. Self-condemnation and self-distrust are grievous errors. Your constant flight from pain and search for pleasure is a sign of love you bear for your self, all I plead with you is this: make love of your self perfect. Deny yourself nothing -- glue your self to infinity and eternity and discover that you do not need them; you are beyond." ~ Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

my heart's so fickle and emotions so tumultuous, i'm afraid to record a feeling that may not last or may easily warp into something else, but i'm hoping that this feeling i have for you right now, of utmost appreciation for your presence in my life and for who you are, will endure all of the ups and downs of our now intertwined lives and end up "happily ever after."