10.29.2005



saturday mornings have such interesting tv programming: rodeo shows and horse races... who knew? apparently there's a sport where men time themselves to see how fast they can jump off their horses and wrangle down a calf. 3.7 seconds--that's pretty damn fast. but it's over so fast. :P

~

i spent the majority of my breakfast mesmerized by bill clinton speaking at some texas book festival. man, can he speak! especially now that he can be completely honest about his stances and opinions, the stuff that comes out of his mouth is so refreshing, intelligent, insightful, and F-ING true. it's really too bad he's not running the country right now.

he touched on the disaster relief, the war, taxes, corporations, health reform, poverty, children, debt, politics--all in the context of being socially responsible while being fiscally practical. his comments didn't cater to any specific interests, nor turn a blind eye to them. he was just fair and honest.

it's so sad how so many things in our society are presented as black and white, instead of the complex and dynamic issues they are, mainly for ease of comprehension and appeal. i would elaborate on this but i think mr.clinton did a much better job. i think he was speaking at that specific festival because he's out with a new book on the topics he was discussing. can't find the title, but i'll post it up once i find it. it should be an interesting read.

~

during his whole speech, i got a real sense of the conservative American values that are immortalized in the stories and foundation of this country. values of decency and neighborly concern--the kind of values that brought a community together to build a house for one of its members--that kind of "little house on the prairie" America. and recently, i've been listening to a lot of country music cuz the place i work at is ALWAYS playing it. i liked it before, but now i'm really starting to understand its appeal and the kind of mindset that the "red" states must be coming from. the states are far from those prairie days, but that kind of ideology is still somewhere in their upbringing and so, in their hearts. there are some beautiful sentiments expressed in their music. (some stupid ones too--thinking of "the redneck yacht club").
i was telling my sister how American country music reminds me of Korean shigol music, which literally translates to "country." it's like the blues for Black people or... hrm. i'm sure each struggling country/ethnicity has their group of melodies that reflects their hardships and roots. anyways, i feel like this is a something in development so i'm sure there will be more on this later.

~

so while i'm watching, my mom walks in and she says, "bill clinton is so mushissuh (basically, hawt). it's no wonder all the women fall for him. i would!" lol. u gotta luv her.

10.27.2005

wow. i blame those last two entries on an overdose of chocolate. which i had more of today. researchers have found that dark chocolate (70+% cocoa) actually contains more antioxidant power than blueberries. yAY! dove dark chocolate is the first big company to develop a special process that better preserves the flavonoids (the gud stuff), so i got a big ol bag the other day and have been working my way thru it steadily. after all, it's gud for my health.

so i started practicing for interviews with lynn today and learned several things: (1) i'm pretentious (also wat she considers my greatest weakness), and (2) i think too much before i speak (ie. i don't sound very human). so i'm gonna start practicing speaking to everyone like i do my sister--cut all the niceness crap out. this is good. for me, that is. bad for everyone else. i wonder how this is going to work with my waitressing job.

on the flip side, she considers my greatest strength to be my "sincere desire to improve myself, those around me, and the world." haha... i never thought of that but i can see what she means now that she's pointed it out. i wonder where it comes from. some desire to realize the ideal--whatever that may be. i guess i get my idealism from my dad. he has an unbelievable integrity to his life philosophies, which are very ideal. it can be frustrating at times, which i'm sure relates to me too. but i truly admire his honest and simple approach to life; both aspects i long for in an ideal world.

personally, i'm not sure what i consider my own strengths and weaknesses. there are still a lot of things i have to sort thru and organize in my head. which i'm off to ahora. buenos noche.

10.26.2005

addendum

you know, i just realized. it wasn't LA in particular. it was UCLA. i remember when i first went there, i talked to random people on the buses and in my classes. and i met some really cool people--some of the most interesting i've ever met. but a lot of the students there are so self-contained and when you poke their bubble, they look at you like a lunatic.

over the years, i adopted the same kind of attitude. it was useful then and there, but now that i'm out in the stranger-filled world again, i think it would be good to rekindle some of that human trust and congeniality. oOh. i get to be alive again.

irasshaimase!

translation: welcome! in japanese.

just finished day 3 at the sushi restaurant. (still getting "quit" lectures after every shift from my mom. wonder how long that's going to last. i plan to continue this for a while.) it's fun! :D hehe... i feel kinda guilty saying that b/c a lot of the people who work there are there because they need the $, and they dun like it much. it's definitely not easy. all that cleaning and running around and nonstop schmoozing. but i love the busy atmosphere and being around normal, non-institutionalized people. they have such down-to-earth personalities.

the best part is, not only am i getting a nice workout from all the physical labor, i'm getting a total mental workout which is exactly what i was looking for. years in a university atmosphere, studying books and interacting with college populations put me in a very specific mindset. it's one where diligence, focus, solitude, abstract thinking, and a lot of PC-behavior was required. short-term memory got a lot less practice than long-term, and a lot of down time went into studying (at least for premed crap). it all makes me a very sedate and internal person.

working in busy atmospheres like the restaurant pushes me to exercise my short-term memory, rapid coordination/efficiency, start and maintain conversations with complete strangers, and rid me of my tunnel vision. the latter is a literal thing. i think it's something i acquired in LA, but everyone does it. when you just shut out the world around you--like when you go grocery shopping or walk down a street; you don't look at the people passing by you, you block them out or act as though they're not there. hrm, i'm not sure if i worded that correctly.

the image i'm seeing is a crowded new york sidewalk with people walking busily to where they have to go, oblivious to all the passerbys. comprende? anyways, at the restaurant, i have to constantly be watching for people's dining experience and the bar and kitchen activities. if someone's watching me, i can't pretend like i don't notice because they might need something. this job made me realize how good i'd gotten over the years at blocking stuff out, and now it's making me more aware of my surroundings again (esp. people). plus it's helping me open up and get over my stranger-phobia. i luv that part b/c i have MAJOR stranger-phobia and sometimes i wish i could just to approach random-ass people and ask them about their lives b/c people have so much to offer (and i'm curious), but i've been so conditioned to not.

anyways, i'm enjoying it and my coworkers are cool. i'm kind of formulating an idea that may fruition... a lot of them don't speak english well (esp the kitchen workers), so i'm trying to think of a way that i could help. ANY IDEAS??? :)

test on the pulmonary system tomorrow! funfun! :D i'm such a nerd, but it is SO interesting. now i just need to find a medically-related volunteer activity (or paid job :) and i'm set for the year. yAY!


and speaking of hot men... :) yoo oh sung is still my favorite korean actor b/c skill trumps all, but for eye candy, YUMMY eye candy, it's soh ji seop hands down.

LYNN, and all this time i thought you and i had totally different taste in men. i now commend you for your excellent judgment. keke. it's all about dem druggy/chinky eyes and that nice manly jawline. i jus realized, he looks like a manlier, taller version of eunjiwon eh? whatever happened to him? haha. remember how we used to print out crazy pictures of him? lol* i think i still have some of the ones yu printed out for me! wonder if he got any hotter. u think u can stalk those two for me while yur in korea? maybe get a few hundred photos of them and possibly kidnap soh ji seop and send him to me for xmas? :D

lol* why do we even bother with emails? i read yur blog almost religiously, and yur the only one reading mine. still i want juicy stuff. especially if yur gonna send me a wrapped up soh ji seop.

10.25.2005

by Linda Dominique Grosvenor

"You spot his gorgeous form across the room and your eyes lock. He winks and you offer up a sexy smile that means--I’m available. He comes over and introduces himself, and after exchanging a little about yourselves too you discover--yikes! He’s younger than you are. You search your mind--what do they call women who date younger men? Cradle-robbers, among other things. But he’s so darn cute and the attraction is definitely there, right? That’s when it hits you, the stigma of dating a younger man has really all but disappeared. When first spotted out on the town with Ashton Kutcher who is notably younger, the fabulously older Demi Moore showed no remorse at all. She’s my hero. Women like Demi and Cameron Diaz are now making it fashionable to be found clutching the arm of a younger man, and thank God for them!

There used to be a time when society deemed it bad taste or taboo for women to bridge the age gap by dating a younger man, but May December romances are inevitably on the rise. Women have taken a no holds barred approach to dating and refuse to settle just for what they can get, they’re going after what they want--an ageless package of pure man. This proactive approach to dating of course means, hooking up regardless of age. Some believe that it’s the age gap itself that will hinder the relationship, but I tend to think that if the couple has enough in common and possesses more than just a “lust” for each other, any older woman, younger man relationship really can work and develop into something mutual and lasting.

[...]
So, when you meet a younger man, loosen up and enjoy yourself. A date is just a date, not every man-meets-woman outing ends in holy matrimony, neither should we expect it to. My advice is, don’t make a bigger deal out of it than it is. A date is just that, a date. [...]"

hrm... words to consider. a date IS just a date.
but wut's the cutoff point? is 18 legal or 21 legal? euw... 18. that's only one year older than my sister. gross. 21 is more fathomable... after all, i was there not TOO long ago...
harhar, yet hotness is as hotness does. i'm too old-fashioned as it is. need to branch out of my safety zone. i foresee some interesting stories... possibly more to come. >:)

10.21.2005

cantinflas en espanol


"Teatro Visión is honored to be paying homage to the comedic style and life of Mexican icon Mario Moreno, better known as ¡Cantinflas!. Herbert Sigüenza of the troupe Culture Clash wrote and will be starring in his play about the legend of Mexican cinema who won over audiences worldwide with his brand of unique physical comedy and social satire. Using flashbacks stemming from a 1993 interview, ¡Cantinflas! will have you doubling over your seat in laughter from the universal comedy and hilarious dance routines that illustrate the comedy and genius of the man Charlie Chaplin once called the greatest comic ever born.
This show will be presented bilingually in English and Spanish."

Bay Area Arts was having a theatre appreciation day where theatres were opening up their seats for free. My eyes lit up being the theatre freak that I am and FREE is always happy news, so I click to the site and aside from a children's production of some magic flute, "Cantinflas" is the only show left with tix.

I read the above description and think, sounds interesting. A Mexican Charlie Chaplin eh? Reserved my two free tix and the day rolls around (yesterday) and my art appreciation buddy happens to be in socal, making me realize that I need more artsy fartsy friends in norcal. i wonder how you meet those. harhar (imagination running wild).

after several calls and jokes about my art eccentricities (mexican charlie chaplin?!), I end up dragging my sister there, speeding to make it to the 8 o'clock show. We sit down 5 minutes into the show, and realize all the actors are speaking in super fast SPANISH.

and there's no translator. no subtitles. an "american reporter" speaks in english for brief periods and that's the extent of "presented bilingually in English and Spanish." O_o

at first i tried to translate what i could for my sister, but all i was going off of was one quarter of spanish and a month in south america. so there'd be long rapid conversations in spanish, and me translating what i knew every 10 seconds: "face.... never... hat... cut..." then half the audience bursts out laughing and we're sitting there clueless.

and i say only half, because i think half the people in that theatre were in the same boat as us. anyways, after a while, we just gave up trying to translate and had fun joking about our situation. my sister kept laughing loudly whenever the spanish-speaking part of the audience laughed and i was trying to stifle my laughter and chastise her at the same time. heh.

from what i could gauge, it was a beautifully simple play and the jokes were very clever (the ones said in english). AND the kulest part, i got a glimpse of a chicano cultural enclave that i never knew existed in south san jose. the theatre, small cafes, restaurants, etc. it's like our mini koreatown/street here, but it's so easy to live in that limited sphere and forget that those spheres exist for so many other rich cultures. or you never think to step into that other sphere until someone leads you there and guides you through the foreign customs, language and food.

that was one of my favorite things about LA: the diversity and richness of culture. but it still doesn't beat the natural serenity of norcal. :) ok. enough gabbing for today. errands time!

10.18.2005


finally saw BEAT this past weekend at jae oppa's. not bad; i could see why it turned into a "classic." but it doesn't touch CHINGOO. YOO OH SUNG was fricken MUH SHI SSUH as always. i think he was the best part of the whole movie, but i could be biased. main guy was too soft and the comic relief was annoying. i liked the main chick though--she had character and didn't look plastic. i miss seeing real people in movies. Posted by Picasa

mai beautiful unnies. haha, and skilled at multitasking too.  Posted by Picasa

disgusting and awesome at the same time. the banana split at max's opera cafe.  Posted by Picasa

doin the boujie thing at stanford shopping mall. Posted by Picasa

the lovely duo: ji unnie and peter hyungboo (that means brother-in-law). Posted by Picasa

mai sister was so enthralled by the toilet covers at sushi-oh-sushi that she turned around and snapped a photo. remember, change it first BEFORE you sit down. Posted by Picasa

mi dongseng and mi unnie melissa. Posted by Picasa

wut a weekend. moi and mi unnies. :D Posted by Picasa

10.14.2005

why are even slightly well-to-do korean men such dickwads? the way they act like they're the shit makes me want to hurl. BOTH korean doctors my parents have seen at Kaiser are about HALF the age of my parents, but they are so disrespectful and full of themselves. they don't listen and they think they're SO right and knowledgeable. i don't give a shit if they went to harvard med; they don't know jack shit about being a doctor.

if a patient tells you that he or she is feeling pain or discomfort, then you probe their daily habits and try to find a cause and solution to the problem. these fucktards just relegate my parents to other doctors, or unnecessary test procedures, or dismiss (DISMISS!) their issues because they want to cover their asses and all they can think about is how many patients they serve and that they're so fucking busy cuz they're so great. the only way to get their attention is to probably walk in bleeding from your side.

that's what i hate about allopathic medicine. it focuses on intervention instead of prevention and integration. your body is composed of many parts, not just yur kidney or yur heart or yur brain. they function together and should be looked at together. and if your body is acting funny, that's its way of putting up red flags for something that's going wrong and could potentially get worse. but isn't it better to investigate and treat something before it turns into a forest fire? ARRGg.

the thing is, most new doctors have been taught these things so when we see my dad's indian specialist or caucasian internist, it feels like all the coordinating and rearrangements we made to go to these appointments was worthwhile. but it's always these fucktard korean doctors who make us feel like it was a waste of time. do they realize it takes weeks of convincing to get my parents to go check their health? do they realize how hard my parents work daily and what a rarity it is for my parents to take the time to take care of themselves? and we can't really choose and pick which doctor to see because there's only ONE korean clinician in this area at any time. and they're always fuckers.

the more i encounter koreans in business or any profession, the less i trust their credentials and integrity. what is wrong with our race? i think the mothers have some responsibility cuz they treat their sons like fucking deities. whatever they want, however they want it, and then some. it's no wonder they never turn into proper men. you would think these 30+, 40ish professionals would understand life a little better to be able to interact with their patients in an effective manner.

they're ugly as hell too. serves em right.

10.12.2005



THE WAR WITHIN opens Friday, October 14th at the Lumiere Theatre. “The broad strokes of The War Within represent some of America’s worst fears. This is the story of a man committed to sacrificing his own life in a murderous act of terror. But this is not a film of broad strokes. Instead, in a mounting succession of chilling, understated scenes, it quietly charts the map of uncertainty between Hassan’s decision and the realization of his plot.” – Cameron Bailey, Toronto Film Festival (read full review)

A letter from the film's director/co-writer, Joseph Castelo:
"Inspired by films like Shadow of a Doubt, Taxi Driver, and The Battle of Algiers, I wanted to make a movie that explored the painful no-man’s land between empathy and terror. It seems to me that’s where we are caught today, in a world reshaped since 9/11 into a landscape of treacherous ideologies peopled by dehumanized effigies. How to make a truthful and gripping—a visceral and yet emotionally intelligent experience—about this subject in today’s climate? Which is to ask: How to stay true to the human realities of the film’s subject matter, realities which are so often obscured by the politicizing discourses we have become accustomed to?
THE WAR WITHIN is our attempt. My filmmaking partners and I committed ourselves deeply to this difficult task, and we are tremendously gratified by the opportunity finally to share it with audiences."

Joseph Castelo Hassan (co-writer Ayad Akhtar) is a Pakistani suicide bomber heading for New York, but the day the attack is due to take place, all the cell members except him and another man are arrested. Desperate, Hassan turns to his former best friend Sayeed (Firdous Bamji), who is living the American dream with his family in New Jersey. After lying to Sayeed about why he is in the U.S., Hassan begins buying parts for explosives. As the days pass, and he gets closer to Sayeed's family, Hassan's determination to complete his mission starts to waver.

You can watch the trailer here. You can buy tickets here.

MAJOR props to Castelo for having the balls to tread and tackle the grays of reality, painting it like it is.

ithaca

When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,
pray that the road is long,
full of adventure, full of knowledge.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the angry Poseidon -- do not fear them:
You will never find such as these on your path,
if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
emotion touches your spirit and your body.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,
if you do not carry them within your soul,
if your soul does not set them up before you.

Pray that the road is long.
That the summer mornings are many, when,
with such pleasure, with such joy
you will enter ports seen for the first time;
stop at Phoenician markets,
and purchase fine merchandise,
mother-of-pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
and sensual perfumes of all kinds,
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
visit many Egyptian cities,
to learn and learn from scholars.

Always keep Ithaca in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for many years;
and to anchor at the island when you are old,
rich with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.

Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would have never set out on the road.
She has nothing more to give you.

And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived you.
Wise as you have become, with so much experience,
you must already have understood what Ithacas mean.

by Constantine P. Cavafy

10.10.2005

http://www.hotelfox.dk/rooms.html
"For the launch of the new Volkswagen Fox [car] 21 international artists from the fields of graphic design, urban art and illustration turned Hotel Fox in central Copenhagen, into the world’s most exciting and creative lifestyle hotel. 61 rooms, 21 artist, 1,000 ideas Each room is an individual piece of art. "

SO kuL O____o i luv innovation. i am so proud to be a volkswagen owner rite now ^_____^;;

other news: i went in for my cheesecake factory interview and got invited for a 2nd interview for serving. :D i was like 2nd interview ?___? 3rd interview ?! ??____?? *sigh* who knew waitressing would be such a hard dream to realize? ehehe. if not waitressing, then crossing my fingers for hostessing. damn. i sound so ambition-less. but i've always wanted to try waitressing--for the environment, the food 101, the chance to meet people, and the idea that you receive direct affirmation of your sales/people skills [tips!!].

i wish i'd done this sooner. it took a month of unemployment, life upheavals, and several paulo coehlo books for me to realize that i shouldn't let my momma's old-fashioned hang-ups hinder me from doing things i really want to do--especially something as harmless as waitressing. i realized that that's not the kind of love i want to fight for; she may love me because i'm being a "good daughter" in obeying her, but i need to explore and live out my life and gain the kind of love that grows with the people involved. she'll be fine with it once i bring home some useful cuisine knowledge. ^^;;

come to think of it, she was so vehemently against me getting my motorcycle license, but now that it's done, silence. lol* mothers... and fathers... perhaps part of their jobs is to throw a few obstacles in your path so that you learn to fight for what you truly want and believe in.

so what next? the accursed word for all parents: art! >:) i started painting again b/c it's always with me [psychologically], and i think i'm going to try making it more than a hobby. more on this later.

let's see... it's october, so that leaves about 11 months before school starts, IF i get into medical school. hrm. which reminds me, i should apply to some master's and post-bacc programs just in case. so i guess, regardless i will be starting something 11 months from now. 11 months... to pursue some of those crazy things on my running list of "things to do in my lifetime."

checked off in the past 9 months: taught kids [yes, i'm a nerd], got a tattoo, new year's eve in times square [somewhat spontaneous event], travelled to a foreign country, got my motorcycle license, allowed myself to lose control [just for a little bit], and waitressing [in progress].

stuff i still want to do in the near future: pierce my tragus [spelling? the little flap in front of your ear hole], sell my artwork :D, go to a museum all by myself [easier said than done], write a story, have a one-nite stand [ambivalent on this one], ROAD TRIP or trek across europe, adopt a kid [ehehe, maybe just an overseas one for now, and then the real thing MUCh later :P].

that's all i the stuff i can think of off the top of my head, of what i've done and want to do. i should really make a tangible list.

life is like a box of chocolates: SO YUMMY =9.

10.08.2005

it's paulo coehlo marathon over here; just finished coehlo's veronika decides to die and eleven minutes, the first being about mental illness and the second, prostitution (at the most superficial level). not bad. the latter being a much quicker read than the first (altho the first was shorter) because it was about sex and sex is always intriguing. but the first ended with quite an impression. i recommend both as essential intellectual food. coehlo uses the suicide and prostitution of his protagonists to do what he always does: discuss the nature of true life, love, and happiness. with a grain of salt as always--after all, this is only one man's experience and views of the world.
another painting to finish, a stack of books waiting, my share of daily errands, and a beautiful day to enjoy. no wonder the leisure class is so worldly. and restless.

10.06.2005

burn it down 'till embers smoke on the ground
and start new when your heart is an empty room
with walls of the deepest blue

home's face: how it ages when you're away
and spring blooms and you find a love that's true
but you don't know what now to do
'cause the chase is all you know and she stopped running months ago

and all you see is where else you could be when you're at home
and out on the street are so many possibilities to not be alone

the flames and smoke climbed out of every window
and disappeared with everything that you held clear
but you shed not a single fear
for the things that you didn't need
'cause you knew you were finally here

"your heart is an empty room"
~deathcab for cutie

10.05.2005

new york times international section: asia

"south korea: concert stampede kills 11"

thousands of people trying to enter a sports stadium for a music concert caused a stampede that killed 11 people and injured 72 others, officials said. the concert, in sangju, 165 miles southeast of seoul, was for a program of old korean songs popular among the elderly, part of a weekly show televised nationally. the 11 people died when one of the stadium gates opened to let the audience inside, a local official said. among the dead were eight women aged 54 to 76.

lol* sorry, it's the visuals xD...

10.02.2005

in the words of my observant friend, "teesa, you are a volatile woman."
i think i've changed the colors for this blog at least 3 times since i got back from s.am, which amounts to TWO months of time. damn. i can't believe it's already been two months, and at the same time, that it's only been two months.

so the inspiration for this new background is from marcos chin's "club life" art piece, slightly modified and showcased on the left side of this page. i love his art. first saw it on the lavalife ads, wondered who the artist was, never really got around to searching until today, and then, jackpot :D. to see his vibrant, fresh, lively art with his great use of monochromatic color schemes: www.marcoschin.com.


the ads that sparked the curiosity...


wow. so clean. i wish my world looked like this. :D