hot hot hot

miss vintage: www.myspace.com/missvintage
danny cho: www.dannycho.com
sf deyoung: http://www.thinker.org/deyoung/index.asp
top chef: tlc, channel 50 in sf

i luv your transparent insecurity.

lovely dinnner out at the chicken by cal. soo romantic. heh. 

goofin off on our way to comedy college nite.  

the many faces of soOie x) 

will's 25th. 25th! ack.. the quarter mark. oyvay old age is creepin up on us. but from these pix, u could never guess. :D 

pahtay ppol. black seemed to be the choice of color that nite. O_o puahaha* COLOR OF CHOICE! i meant to do that...

i walked past a playground full of energetic toddlers today... flashbacks of the monkeybars and poles at los alamitos. childhood can be so sweet.

i've finally decided on non-negotiable number one. it's been forming in my head for the past year (it had to be worded precisely and proven to me over and over), but it's finally captured and officially going down in indelible writing across everything that is the essence of my being. drumroll please... ^_^

life is exquisite. appreciate every moment of it.

i luv 12 hour sleeps ^______^. finished 2nd exams for both classes yesterday, so only the finals left to go! pic update from the weekend:

last weekend: goofin w/ the sis and personal air freshener study sesh at zephyr (ask and ye shall receive), visit to cal (future U blessed w/ my sister's presence. that's rite. BLESSED. heh), erriitch's 24th! bdaY and finally met his lovely gf janelle (and his cute friends; nudge nudge katie ;), RUSSELL PETERS live at cobb's comedy club thanks to polywog's heads up! :D stomach felt like it was condensed into the size of a raisin cuz i was laughing so hard. luv'd having kat there cuz for once, someone was laughin louder than me! ;D 

MY MULLET. one day, i decided my bangs were getting too long so i decided to chop chop. i leaned my head forward, snipped wat i thought was chin length bangs, threw my head back, and found i now had very short bangs and a mullet. 

the more people i speak with about love and relationships, and hear of their experiences and insights, the more i'm learning how naive and inexperienced i am. and how it comes to everyone in such unique and diverse ways. one thing i've learned for myself tho: in order for me to truly be able to love someone, i'll have to know myself first and be honest to myself. time to work on those non-negotiables.

in the meantime, piktoors from the weekend:

celebration sushi for my sister's college acceptances. she got some fat scholarships and the green light at so many great schools. my parents and i are so proud and happy for her. wOOoOo sooie ^______^! 

sooie and momma. we are such FOBs. 

me and my poppa. guess his age! does he look anywhere near 62? that's rite :D. 

drove around marin and grabbed a few shots of lil eye treats worth sharing. for such a boujie area (highest blingbling in the state) i don't see the appeal, other than that it's a suburb near the KULEST city in the world. 

ggpark is in full bloOm and if u catch it on a sunny day, yu'll lose yurself in the natural splendor. on a side note, they found a dead woman's body today in the park. and at the lake near my apt. O___o heh. a nice lil check for the sentimental overkill. ..if yur gonna kill someone and dump the body, wouldn't it be smarter to do it somewhere a lil less conspicuous? both places are always buzzing with people, and there are very few carnivorous animals there............ [joke]

canvas cafe. unremarkable bathroom, but otherwise chock full of eye candy. my fave study stop after wednesday clinics. i think they're starting to recognize me. slowly building up my regular/local status around sf. woO :D. 

heh. don't worry, i haven't gone bipolar.

i feel like dancing snoopy INSIDE when i think about how fucking awesome life is, but it's more of a deep joy and appreciation for how beautiful and moving it all is, rather than a i'm dancing in my room kinda happy. ^__^

i really am appreciating 2006 so far. year of the dog, baybeh baybeh. my mom says i was born in the year, month, day and hour of the dog. i'm a bitch thru and thru. x} it's fun when things coincide. thoughts of why 12 is significant to humans running thru my head... two full cycles of my zodiac and here i am learning and growing, 24 in 3 months.

i always strove so hard to be strong, live life, move on, to the point where i had never fully confronted my feelings. everyone always tells you, "don't worry, be happy," "get out and enjoy life," "move on," and all the many aphorisms to help us get thru the tough spots in life. so i did. if i met failure or dissatisfaction with something, i just turned the other way, got right back up on the horse and jumped back into life.

this time i wallowed. ehehe. jk. it wasn't that bad. mebbe at times. anyways, i confronted my emotions, reflected on them, and let them run their course. and it sucked and it was consuming at times, but i'm slowly starting to feel the upward swing. and the beauty of the whole thing is, i learned SO much about myself through it, and once it's done, i feel like i'll be able to let it all go. "deal with the pain head-on, so it won't build up and kick you in the ass down the road," [jolie-ism] which believe me, a lot of things have, hard. one of my new goals this year is to confront all the crap i've been avoiding since i was 3. then mebbe i can finally get over all these demons tripping me up when life really counts.

humans are fucking amazing creatures. and sf.... SF. i wish i had carried my camera around these past 2 weeks [i'll try to be good next time i'm out and about]. so fucking beautiful, majestic, alive, dazzling.

"Life Is Wonderful"

It takes a crane to build a crane
It takes two floors to make a story
It takes an egg to make a hen
It takes a hen to make an egg
There is no end to what I'm saying

It takes a thought to make a word
And it takes a word to make an action
It takes some work to make it work
It takes some good to make it hurt
It takes some bad for satisfaction

La la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Al la la la la

It takes a night to make it dawn
And it takes a day to you yawn brother
It takes some old to make you young
It takes some cold to know the sun
It takes the one to have the other

It takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
It takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes some dust to make it polished

Ha la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is so full of
Ah la la la la la la life is so rough
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is our love
Ah la la la la la

It takes some silence to make sound
It takes a loss before you found it
It takes a road to go nowhere
It takes a toll to know you care
It takes a hole to make a mountain

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is oh love
Ah la la la la la la love is all sorts of
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la la life is full circle
Ah la la la la la la life is holla holla
Ah la la la la la la next up bushwalla-walla
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful
Ah la la la la la

sorry this is a little delayed:

hey joe. i would write this in a reply to your post, but blogger doesn't give a reply address.. so thanks for giving me a heads up, and welcome to my blog and the community of the 4 people who read it (6 if you add you and me). i feel a little bashful now that my blog has actually been located in the www labyrinth, but i'm checking that since i knowingly subscribed to this blogworld charm and hazard. feel free to comment on anything i post, and that invitation goes to all of yu (L, seb, katiebug, elle). i would love to get thoughtful dialogues going on anything and everything.

---

i actually used to have another blog which i kept private, and used this blog for more surface things... but with the culmination of 2005, i wanted to work on getting rid of that duality, work towards some consistency between the inner me and the projected me, practicing a bit of that integrity i so prize and admire. so i ended that blog and have been integrating the contents of the last blog into this one.

there's so much i've been contemplating and would like to attempt to grasp by "capturing" the thoughts through typed words and visual tangibility, but i don't think they're ready yet. still half-baked. maybe raw, and when they're typed they're half-baked. and then baked half a decade later. i'm a good cook, really. heh. until then, some GOOD finds:

crash ost, haunting and beautiful instrumentals. a feel good song at the end.

bride and prejudice movie, despite (or for) all its cheesiness and romantic gush, i loved it! great ost as well. aishwaryu is the most beautiful actress i have ever seen.

kafka on the shore book, by murakami. started off a lil slow, but it's one of thoose.. the short, crisp strike of a match, the whisper of the flame burning along the wick, and then BOOM. then the unnatural calm that ensues, and the need to reevaluate the rearranged world around you.

marin county, it's the pristine suburb across the bridge. a "home" near the big city. dying to check out comforts, a cafe in marin renowned for their chinese chicken salad and celebrity sightings (but who has time to think about that when delicious food is involved). their menu looks fantastic: www.comfortscafe.com

queen wilhemina's tulip garden under the gg park windmill, absolutely vivid right now. spring is in the air and sf is the place to be for glimpses of romance and dreamy gazes, strangers casually remarking the day is beautiful, sf is beautiful, you're beautiful.

wat a word. :]