newayz, i was really thinking about getting that ticket to korea....... but fuck, i don't deserve it. sorry lynn....... :T booooooo, and sorry me........ i miss u like maaad. but now that i finally kno how to dial yur fricken number, at least i can talk to u in major emergencies. :D
i promised myself 2006 is going to be more productive. even if med school doesn't work out for me--especially if it doesn't--i've got to refocus on building my character and my life story, regardless of this waiting period. once i've got that shit together, i'll take a nice 2 week break and party it up with u and all the left-footed sluts in korea. ;)
in the meantime, i've gotta get up to get dooown. ehehe. woOo 2006! check out this hottie lynn...... it's been a loooonnng time since i've seen eye candy this sweet. infact, he has to be the hottest male i have ever laid eyes on thus far (strong statement i kno, but can't think of anyone better looking off the top of my head). wouldn't he look great on my dashboard? ehehe... i mean on my arm? yumm...
12.28.2005
12.25.2005
After a good week of vejjing (to recuperate from the near-death hydroplaning incident & miscellaneous events the endlessly energetic crys ;) wanted to attend) the weekend began once more. FRI the 23rd began with my momma's 52nd birthday dinner... <3<3... our favorite extended family members were there (minus 2 in socal).
12.23.2005
alexander etel has just been added to my mental list of favorite child actors (joining the kid from "love actually" and drew barrymore in "et") . unpretentiously endearing and heartbreakingly innocent, his character, combined with the imaginary freewill and quirky humor of this film, is a perfect xmas time movie, and just a great movie in general. at first look, it seems like some one-dimensional silly kid's flick about wat a boy would do w/ a million bucks, but it turned out to be one of the best films i've seen in a long time. in sum, it's the proverbial loaves and fishes story reinterpreted and revamped for the 20th century. definitely worth checking out.
that is my two cents for the holidays-watch the film and revisit the spirit of childhood innonence and goodwill towards humanity. merry christmas and happy new year everyone. my sincerest wishes for warm and fond times.
12.13.2005
yaY :D i am feeling much better and ready to play again. :P i found a shitload of great shows coming up in Jan and Feb on www.brownpapertickets.com. POlly? oOh! or daISY? since yu'll be here around then. and then, mebbe i will visit lynn in koreeeeea... :D man, i had to call 8 people today to talk to someone! it was 10:30, just got off work and feeling like chatting. usually, i jus call lynn and she picks up (since those are her prime hours) and we blab and then i get home and happy happy. sigh....... maybe it wasn't just me feeling under the weather and antisocial this past week. everybody's fricken v/m picked up. :T dood, it's so weird. my phone rarely does this cuz the keys lock once i'm done using it, but TWICE already, i take it out of my bag and it's dialing "LYnn's cell." wth. i dun even kno how it finds the entry... O_o
so in other news, i finally checked out the podcasts from mosaic (www.mosaic.org) and they are GREAT. erwin even has a site and it is off the hook, http://erwinmcmanus.com. i've been searching for an "erwin" up here, so i've been asking people where the charismatic, intelligent speakers are at. i checked out this church my friend recommended, GRX, which incidentally turned out to be my cuzn's church. so i went and the assistant pastor was speaking (go figure). and it was soooooooo disappointing :T. he was speaking on how to treat disabled people b/c his son has down syndrome. great topic, but man o man. the substance went something like this: at first, we were frightened, and then we realized he is great, he is human and we are all disabled in some way... so you should approach disabled people w/ 1. love, 2. kindness, 3. fellowship (it literally said this on the powerpoint). i wanted to book it so bad... i know this is harsh, but come on. if yur a group of people familiar w/ christian doctrine, isn't it kind of a given that you should treat all people with the same love and respect, regardless of their mental or physical state? and he couldn't graduate the message to let's say, high school level language and complexity? i felt like he was preaching to preschoolers. i hope the actual pastor has more to offer. since i've been home, i feel like my sense of reality has shifted a bit, and i'm searching again to make sense of it all. thus, i'm back on the church hunt, so i can get some intellectual discussion going on the nature of life and existence of god, etc... i wonder how it happened. perhaps too much time on my hands and episodes of feeling powerless against the tide of things. plus, the reading i've been doing has focused largely on the metaphysical. wonder where all of this is taking me...
wut else? lately, i've been feeling a growing rebellious distaste for the whole feminization thing. see nytimes article: "what's a modern girl to do?" http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/30/magazine/30feminism.html?emc=eta1. i am getting tired of guys and girls who perpetuate the whole passive, easy going, just smart enough to keep a conversation going, pretty feminine girl thing. it really does feel like a conservative undercurrent has steadily reversed our trends towards backward progress (i blame the bush administration). or mebbe i need to stop hanging out with asians. the girls always act like accessories and are so repressive of their personalities. it's really sad. the guys have to put on a show and they treat the girls like prizes to be won. it's so primitive. i miss the days when gender wasn't such an issue and guys and girls could really view each other as equal friends. like when we were 6. ehehe... my frustration could also have been multiplied by the dumb korean drama i just finished a few days ago... korean dramas always piss me off because the characters are so f-ing passive and cheesy. i luvs the movies, but i am finding that a lot of the korean men directors are misogynists. so sad cuz the movies are so great, but the women are treated like shit, or have invisible abstract roles, or are eevil. wat is going on with the world?
oh! i wanted to give props to elle (www.xanga.com/orchidelle) for her lively photos (no plastic smiles there) and her mini essay on the death penalty. altho i don't agree wholly, it made me think (no joke, elle), and i appreciated the substance. we just had this conversation last week on how we view each other's professions as having true impact on people, versus our own. when i was in south america, i remember thinking, i can only help them so much. bandage here, medicines, etc... one person at a time. but to truly help the society, you have to work at the legislative level. so when elle was talking about possibly spending this coming summer in thailand battling the sex trade, or in africa to participate in the genocide trials, or in peru to advocate human rights, i was just overflowing with respect and admiration for her and her capabilities (haha, who would have ever thought this day would come? ;).
anyways, siesta time. LYNN, i want more posts/emails! lookie how diligently i am shooting the shit for u. i am even going to retype this funny quote i read in "time" for you:
"Saddam Hussein stood up at his trial and shouted, 'I am not afraid of execution! Until his lawyers explained, 'You are not going to execute anybody. It's you who is going to be executed.' At which point [Saddam] said in Arabic, and this is a rough translation, 'Ah, my bad.'"
--Jon Stewart
so in other news, i finally checked out the podcasts from mosaic (www.mosaic.org) and they are GREAT. erwin even has a site and it is off the hook, http://erwinmcmanus.com. i've been searching for an "erwin" up here, so i've been asking people where the charismatic, intelligent speakers are at. i checked out this church my friend recommended, GRX, which incidentally turned out to be my cuzn's church. so i went and the assistant pastor was speaking (go figure). and it was soooooooo disappointing :T. he was speaking on how to treat disabled people b/c his son has down syndrome. great topic, but man o man. the substance went something like this: at first, we were frightened, and then we realized he is great, he is human and we are all disabled in some way... so you should approach disabled people w/ 1. love, 2. kindness, 3. fellowship (it literally said this on the powerpoint). i wanted to book it so bad... i know this is harsh, but come on. if yur a group of people familiar w/ christian doctrine, isn't it kind of a given that you should treat all people with the same love and respect, regardless of their mental or physical state? and he couldn't graduate the message to let's say, high school level language and complexity? i felt like he was preaching to preschoolers. i hope the actual pastor has more to offer. since i've been home, i feel like my sense of reality has shifted a bit, and i'm searching again to make sense of it all. thus, i'm back on the church hunt, so i can get some intellectual discussion going on the nature of life and existence of god, etc... i wonder how it happened. perhaps too much time on my hands and episodes of feeling powerless against the tide of things. plus, the reading i've been doing has focused largely on the metaphysical. wonder where all of this is taking me...
wut else? lately, i've been feeling a growing rebellious distaste for the whole feminization thing. see nytimes article: "what's a modern girl to do?" http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/30/magazine/30feminism.html?emc=eta1. i am getting tired of guys and girls who perpetuate the whole passive, easy going, just smart enough to keep a conversation going, pretty feminine girl thing. it really does feel like a conservative undercurrent has steadily reversed our trends towards backward progress (i blame the bush administration). or mebbe i need to stop hanging out with asians. the girls always act like accessories and are so repressive of their personalities. it's really sad. the guys have to put on a show and they treat the girls like prizes to be won. it's so primitive. i miss the days when gender wasn't such an issue and guys and girls could really view each other as equal friends. like when we were 6. ehehe... my frustration could also have been multiplied by the dumb korean drama i just finished a few days ago... korean dramas always piss me off because the characters are so f-ing passive and cheesy. i luvs the movies, but i am finding that a lot of the korean men directors are misogynists. so sad cuz the movies are so great, but the women are treated like shit, or have invisible abstract roles, or are eevil. wat is going on with the world?
oh! i wanted to give props to elle (www.xanga.com/orchidelle) for her lively photos (no plastic smiles there) and her mini essay on the death penalty. altho i don't agree wholly, it made me think (no joke, elle), and i appreciated the substance. we just had this conversation last week on how we view each other's professions as having true impact on people, versus our own. when i was in south america, i remember thinking, i can only help them so much. bandage here, medicines, etc... one person at a time. but to truly help the society, you have to work at the legislative level. so when elle was talking about possibly spending this coming summer in thailand battling the sex trade, or in africa to participate in the genocide trials, or in peru to advocate human rights, i was just overflowing with respect and admiration for her and her capabilities (haha, who would have ever thought this day would come? ;).
anyways, siesta time. LYNN, i want more posts/emails! lookie how diligently i am shooting the shit for u. i am even going to retype this funny quote i read in "time" for you:
"Saddam Hussein stood up at his trial and shouted, 'I am not afraid of execution! Until his lawyers explained, 'You are not going to execute anybody. It's you who is going to be executed.' At which point [Saddam] said in Arabic, and this is a rough translation, 'Ah, my bad.'"
--Jon Stewart
12.12.2005
heh. so while still waiting for lynn to sign on (which she did for FIVE minutes after i waited an HOUR for her) i started googling hot actors. :P at first for my mom, believe it or not, because we somehow got into the conversation of the kind of guys i find attractive (guy guys) versus the pretty pansies my sister likes. OH, cuz we were looking at one of my oppa's pix who i'm setting up with my boss' daughter (heh, updates on this later). so i googled a picture of so ji seop for her, and denzel and liam and one thing led to another, and we ended up typing in "hottest korean actors" into google. x)
anyways, it was pretty disappointing. i mean there are endless beautiful people, but the hugely popular people who actually come up on the pages are not really my cuppatea. but i did get a nice review of "Old Boy" which i am keeeeeeen on seeing now. sounds crazy and aesthetic. yumm :9. all great sensations can be related to eating for me. which reminds me, i just bought this cashew caramel crunch ben & jerry's ice cream which i look forward to having for breakfast, lunch and dinner tomorrow. i attribute my weirdness candor today to the fact that i'm a lil under the weather and sorely missing my daily dose of lynn.
SO looking back, i have had a handful of celebrity crushes, and i was googling to see what they had in common, but i don't see it... i used to say i liked guys with "druggy" eyes. wtf is that?! i have issues... then i realized the pc way to say it is "chinky" eyes. basically as least fem as possible. anyways, minus anything effeminate, but cute and kiddish is a plus. that is why so ji seop works sooo well. he ain't fem, but he ain't no old man. forever young. man, when i look at the guys my sister thinks are hot, barf. they look like they have an extra x chromosome or something. i'm so mean. :P ok, enough spastic self-indulgent, bimbo talk. goooo niiigh.
12.11.2005
12.09.2005
Ithaca
When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,
pray that the road is long,
full of adventure, full of knowledge.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the angry Poseidon--do not fear them:
You will never find such as these on your path
if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
emotion touches your spirit and your body.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,
if you do not carry them within your soul,
if you heart does not set them up before you.
Pray that the road is long.
That the summer mornings are many, when,
with such pleasure, with such joy
you will enter ports seen for the first time;
stop at Phoenician markets,
and purchase fine merchandise,
mother-of-pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
and sensual perfumes of all kinds,
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
visit many Egyptian cities,
to learn and learn from Scholars.
Always keep Ithaca in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for many years;
and to anchor at the island when you are old,
rich with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.
Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would never have set out on the road.
She has nothing more to give you.
And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived you.
Wise as you have become, with so much experience,
you must already have understood what Ithacas mean.
~Constantine Cavafy
(1863-1933) translated by Rae Dalven
pray that the road is long,
full of adventure, full of knowledge.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the angry Poseidon--do not fear them:
You will never find such as these on your path
if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine
emotion touches your spirit and your body.
The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,
the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,
if you do not carry them within your soul,
if you heart does not set them up before you.
Pray that the road is long.
That the summer mornings are many, when,
with such pleasure, with such joy
you will enter ports seen for the first time;
stop at Phoenician markets,
and purchase fine merchandise,
mother-of-pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
and sensual perfumes of all kinds,
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
visit many Egyptian cities,
to learn and learn from Scholars.
Always keep Ithaca in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for many years;
and to anchor at the island when you are old,
rich with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.
Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would never have set out on the road.
She has nothing more to give you.
And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived you.
Wise as you have become, with so much experience,
you must already have understood what Ithacas mean.
~Constantine Cavafy
(1863-1933) translated by Rae Dalven
12.05.2005
that's it for the obligatory picture update. it stops where mel stopped snapping. but i will be gud and try to take my camera out with me from now on. specifically for u LYNN, so you have some stuff to look at in yur off-time and have illustrations to go with my stories. :)
something about fall makes me feel so at home, with nature and myself. the crisp air, the muted colors, the rain, and the clear skies that follow... they resonate with something inside of me. juxtapositions, transitions, contradictions, but an overall theme--lovely but sad.
it reminds me of peru: the beautiful landscapes, the elegant simplicity, intertwined with the struggles and pains of its people. i remember thinking as i stepped off the plane, i think this will be one of those experiences, beautiful but sad. deja vue.
anyways, this weather is really motivating me to make that san francisco move. i am feaning for a quiet place with a fireplace, plush carpet and a cute kitchen where i can make hot chocolate all day. gross, i sound like such a girl. we'll see if this lasts thru winter and i make the move in january. winter is altogether a different world. by then i might just want a nice affordable place with good heating.
something about fall makes me feel so at home, with nature and myself. the crisp air, the muted colors, the rain, and the clear skies that follow... they resonate with something inside of me. juxtapositions, transitions, contradictions, but an overall theme--lovely but sad.
it reminds me of peru: the beautiful landscapes, the elegant simplicity, intertwined with the struggles and pains of its people. i remember thinking as i stepped off the plane, i think this will be one of those experiences, beautiful but sad. deja vue.
anyways, this weather is really motivating me to make that san francisco move. i am feaning for a quiet place with a fireplace, plush carpet and a cute kitchen where i can make hot chocolate all day. gross, i sound like such a girl. we'll see if this lasts thru winter and i make the move in january. winter is altogether a different world. by then i might just want a nice affordable place with good heating.
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