today marks david and my three month anniversary together. never thought we'd make it to this point, but i suppose a number of factors have propelled us forward past our incongruities and disputes. some of those factors would include countless moments of laughter and mutual support, but mostly, david's steadfast belief that our relationship is worth an inordinate amount of effort, patience, and sacrifice. he's given me a strong shoulder to lean on and even more so, a hand that leads. i, unconsciously, have found myself in a place of complacence--which brings just what it should: comfortable and easy happiness. i find it both pleasing and displeasing. it's easy to be led, but i would much rather be the flame that dies within its own force than the moth that withers from its heat. this complacency has its roots in more than our relationship; it began when i realized the extent of my power as an individual, as well as the far-reaching power of emulation. i decided to live out my own life to the fullest without any apologies, but it has become a fine line to tread because an egocentric life can easily lapse into a nuclear one--it's the difference between making a mark on this world and finding a place in this world. the former drives my philanthropic goals, while the latter makes me want to shut out all of the strife and controversy in this world and hide in a bubble of complacency. complacency. contentment.